International That's What She Said Day.

Man, I was doing so well with the whole keeping-this-up-to-date thing, but then I just sorta forgot about it.

My Valentine's Day wasn't optimal, but still pretty good.

Hope everyone had a good day. :)



I am now going to spend today moping about my single status, since I never got a chance to yesterday.
BAHA. Nah, that's lame. I'm actually going to study. MURRRRRRR.




Wooo I'm happy. :)

I'm taking control.

Yayyyy I went to the park today!

Jessica came over and barged in as usual, all "RAHHH WE'RE GOING TO OUTSIDE TO PLAY FOOTBALL!!!" Luckily I was able to convince Kelley to come with us, but only after Jess defaced Kelley's kitty calender and threw her football in the sink. Yeah, I really don't know what the hell she was thinking. Actually, I'm pretty sure she just doesn't think. Jesus, it's annoying.

So yeah, we walked over to the park and played football and frisbee for about two and half hours. It was so gorgeous outside. I'm getting to know the city really well, and I seriously do not want to leave.

That being said, I decided today that I'm going to do whatever it takes to return to UTC next fall. I really like it here, and I'm not about to let this stupid depression completely whip my ass. I can get through it, and I'm going to, and no chemical imbalance is going to hold me back. I refuse to let this thing get the best of me and fuck up all my chances of becoming what I believe is my destiny: someone who can change lives for the better.

This is my life, and I'm reclaiming it

Favorite song.

I freakin' love this song.
Go, go away! Read some books! Or, in this case, listen to some Bloc Party!

"Flux," by Bloc Party
If your right hand is causing you pain
Cut it off, cut it off
If your colours have started to run
Let them all run, run away from you

There is lightning in this room
Above our heads, waiting to strike
I'm a thinker not a talker
Put your faith, your faith in God

We were hoping for some romance
All we found was more despair
We must talk about our problems
We are in a state of flux

I'd kill for an adventure
Just you and I, in the Curzon Bar
Dancing till we knew
So all that we've learnt disappears

When you shouted at me
I saw my father in the second grade
Concerned and kind
Yet unable to reach me

We were hoping for some romance...

(State of flux)

We need to talk

We were hoping for some romance...

Grawr.

Today kinda sucked, but I don't know why. I guess I'm just not in a very good mood. It's not like anything bad happened.

Oh, I did sign up for housing for next. Room 5708D, wooooo. It's a corner room (more sun), on the top floor (no sex noises upstairs), right by the elevator (easy loading/unloading), and it has a washer and dryer (no more $0.75 loads). It's too bad I had to go with random roommates and the most expensive housing, though.

All day, I've been so worried that I won't be able to come back to UTC next year. I've been working my ass off in all of my classes, but I'm afraid it still won't be enough. I know my Provost's scholarship definitely won't be renewed, but if I can pull off a 2.75 gpa, I can keep my HOPE scholarship. Gah. I doubt there's any leniency when it comes to my recent "issues."

I wish none of this had ever happened. I wish this stupid fucking disease would go away and just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE so I can finally get on with my life. It's made me feel like shit this past week, and I'm so ready to just be DONE with it.

I WANT MY LIFE BACK.

So many exams.

I did nothing but go to classes today. Ewwww. I missed French, AGAIN. I could kick myself. My alarm went off, I distinctly remember hearing it, but somehow I went back to sleep and woke up late. AUAEL;KF;KLD. I had a test in Anthropology today, and I think I might have actually fallen asleep. Then some girl goes up to the front of the class and was like, "I think I'm going to faint." She was fine, but the adrenaline from it woke me up enough to finish my exam, thank God. Oh, and somehow I made a 93 on my exam for Maps? I barely studied for it, too, but whatever. YAY!

Now I have an English paper to write. It's "critical review," and we just review a movie, book, album, or whatever else. These are what I'm considering:

• Gossip Diet (Lotus Child)
• Intimacy (Bloc Party)
• Pop-Up (Yelle)
  
• The Uglies trilogy by Scott Westerfield
• Twilight by Stephenie Meyer [YAY RANT!]

Murr. I hate making decisions.

I'm home!

FINALLY.
I've returned to Chattanooga.
No more curfews, no more guilt trips, no more orders.
'Tis awesome.

My weekend actually kinda sucked. I mean, I got to see my friends and that was fine, but I felt like I never really got to be with them. And then my family. . . Rawwrrr. I can't stand them anymore. My mother is incapable of dong anything but nagnagnag.


Marrr. I'm so glad to be back at school. Except for the school part.

W00T.

Blahhhhhhh I missed English. My alarm didn't go off, again.

I also saw Dr. Lavin today. I actually rode my bike, and OH MY GOD. I never realized there were so many hills in Chattanooga. I think I'll walk next time.

Then I went to Panera to study for French, but it was packed, so I just got some food and went back to my apartment.

Took my French exam. I'm pretty sure I bombed it.

Now I've just been sitting at home ever since, kinda working on homework.

Basically, today sucked.
As did yesterday.
And the day before.


In other news, I'm contemplating going home this weekend. I really need to do laundry, and I don't want to pay $.75 a load when I can do it for free, so yeah. BUT.
I don't know if I'll be hanging out with anyone, aside from my family. There are some people who probably don't want to see me, and others who I don't want to see. Muh.


I'm hoping tomorrow's a better day.

kthxbai